I have been excited this week as I have awaited the arrival of Steel City’s shipment of September products for Wax Cracker. I decided to have the shipment sent to my office since I am not sure how to deal with packages at my new studio yet. I tried to remind myself to let my administrative assistant know that I was expecting a package today, but I forgot to let her now. My schedule was full of meetings and for the most part I was out of the office, thus missing the delivery myself.
I was shocked to receive the following picture and message about my much anticipated package while at lunch. In the dramatic recreation of this story, I will refer to the package hostage taker, aka the Perp, as Noisy Little Duck.
Noisy Little Duck: The eagle has landed – if you want to see your package again – it’s going to cost you cookies from 7-11:) If you have not paid the ransom by 3 PM – I’m taking the items out of the box and selling for the cost of cookies:)
Attached picture from the Perp below:
Noisy Little Duck: You think we’re joking? 🙂 Every hour it gets tighter.
My response to the Perp: I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want.If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let me package go now that will be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue, but if you don’t, I will look for and find you!
Noisy Little Duck: Good luck –
The line of communication went silent. It left me worrying about the contents of my package. Would the cards be harmed? Would the Perp destroy them one at a time to fulfill some crazy and sick fantasy brought on by his parents not buying him/her sports cards as a child? Did the sound of sports cards stuck in bicycle spokes drive the Perp crazy as a child? Who would take a package hostage…a cookie driven madman, that is who!
To my surprise the Perp wasn’t asking for burritos as ransom. Cookies…cookies…me want cookies…could the Perp be the furry guy in blue below:
Word on the ‘Street’ is that Cookie Monster’s cookie began to crumble when his cookies were taken away and replaced with healthy snacks to please the growing masses that support healthier diets. A recent photo was taken of my first suspect showing the cookie fueled rage he has been in:
The body type met the description of the Perp, but the lead soon went cold. Who could be filled with a cookie fueled rage before lunchtime? I decided is was best to head back, but not before stopping to meet the Perp’s demands…two bags of 7-11 cookies purchased, one Snickerdoodle three pack, one Chocolate Chip three pack, and a Cucumber Gatorade to be safe just incase the negotiations got serious.
I got back to find the package still tied and locked to the chair just like the picture had shown. There didn’t seem to be a Perp in sight, only the random grins holding back laughter from the peanuts in the gallery. I rushed to release the package from its bounds, freeing it from its misery was accomplished just by picking it up…the Perp obviously had a few cookies loose in the cookie jar, a child could have saved this package!
Hours passed by and I still had no trail on the Perp. The contents of the package were safe and secure. The now safely delivered boxes below were in my possession:
The contents were safe and in one piece. Thankfully, now that the package is back in my possession, I can go through with the giveaway to be announced in my next post immediately following this post.
By the end of the afternoon I had found my ransom offerings missing. The cookie bandit, aka Perp, aka Noisy Little Duck had taken the cookies back to his lair. I knew this because there was a cookie crumb trail leading all the way back to his hideaway. I confronted the Perp, who turned out to be someone that I have trusted over the last year, someone with whom I have had many long conversations with, supposedly one I could call a friend…but one that had now become not a Noisy Little Duck, but a cookie snatcher!
I was happy that my package was safe from this bandit and I called it a day. There will be other days when this bandit needs his cookie smack, and those days I will be ready for!
Thanks for a memorable day, Noisy Little Duck!